It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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