Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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