Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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