ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
And then my night got REAL pukey
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
