i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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