i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
