I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
