I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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