Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
