Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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