Well douche your snatch and let's go!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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