HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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