Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
