I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize