my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
