do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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