A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
