Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
