Can Purell be used as lube?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
