Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
