i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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