You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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