as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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