He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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