yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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