Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
