my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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