We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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