What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize