O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
