i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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