I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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