im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
