apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
