If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
