Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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