i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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