did you get engaged???
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize