he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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