Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
