I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
