I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
