So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
