Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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