I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize