we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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