Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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