Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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