McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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