can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
