i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
