Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
