Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
