Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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