he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
