matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
