Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
