Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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