my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Randomize
