Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
