the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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