I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
