Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
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