I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
