um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize