Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
