Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize