can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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