He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
