no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
