I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
only you would photoshop your dick
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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