so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
