my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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