why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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