his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
