he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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