Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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