I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
too bad you live with your parents still
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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