Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
