Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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