When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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