she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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