I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
