Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
