My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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